ABC's of Sassy.

So, my oldest son, is in his final year of the seventh circle of hell, also known as middle school. Middle school was quite an adjustment for me. I mean, him. Each individual teacher, sends home a letter on the first day of school, outlining procedures, how grades are configured, etc. Parents must sign these, along with the spawn.

Caleb is, virtually, a straight A student. His two younger brothers are dyslexic, so how he won the genetic jackpot is beyond me, but he's totally picking my lotto numbers next week. I saw him crack a school book maybe 7 times last year?

I digress. As usual.

He's concerned about one of his teachers, his social studies teacher. Caleb was in a class across the hall from this teacher's room, last year, and everyone could hear him screaming at his class all the time. Most letters sent from teachers, are a page, maybe front and back, of expectations.

This dude had a 3 page letter, front and back.

Now, some of them, I completely agreed with. He expects eye contact when he speaks to someone, "Yes Sir" and "No Sir", all totally acceptable. The one that caught my eye?

"When given a gift, you have 3 seconds to say thank you. If you do not, I will take back the gift. There is no excuse for being ungrateful."

Three seconds, dude? Is that 3 seconds from when it leaves your hand? Three seconds from when it hits MY hand? How often do you give gifts, that a timed rule is required?

After that little gem caught my eye, I started paying more attention. I discovered, to my horror, that while he may have firm ideas about behavior, he has no idea how to use punctuation.

None.

Run-on sentences, no commas, quotation marks where they shouldn't be, none where they should be. No capitalization.

I, absent-mindedly, began to proofread it. Five minutes later, Caleb comes over, to retrieve the papers I was only supposed to sign, and starts laughing. He begins helping me, when it hits us both.

I was using a pen.

The paper was covered in corrections.

The paper that had to be returned to the teacher.

The one that yells alot.

Whoops, LOL.

What's the worst first impression you've ever made on a new teacher?