Update-schmupdate

So, I've had long, drawn-out posts, completely written in my head, but I think we all know how that works out in flying-monkey land.

So, to summarize, I'm fine.

I had lots of tests, some surgery, and started the pill.

I also added another layer to my freakish fertility.

I, apparently, only have one ovary.

Now, I would think that would mean a girl would only be like, half as fertile, right?

Apparently, my lonely little ovary, instead of, you know, taking every month off, as is her right, considering she's only supposed to be on-call every other month, decided to be the over-achiever in my life.

"Take some time off? I think not! What will she do, if she gets a month of worrying that she's knocked up again?"

I'm one of the laziest people I know, a proud under achiever, if you will, and I get the Ovary to kick the ass of everyone else's ovariES.

My BFF has been TTC for over 2 years, and when finding further evidence of my freakishness, already told me she has every intention of sleeping with The Man.

I told her she has my permission.

More later, I SWEAR (notice I just said "later") about my ridiculously hysterical kids, my hairscut, magnet school interviews, and my thoughts on the new CPSIA regulations, that currently, stand to put Bitchen Stitchen right the fuck out of business.

Wanna guess how much profanity that post will contain?

Hey, I'll give a prize to the person who guesses the closest to the number of times I'll use "fuck", or some derivative thereof, including, but not limited to: Fuckstick, fuckity, fuck balls, etc.

I'll make it something good, and swear not to look at the guesses before I finish the post.

Ooh...this is fun!

Guess!: B.Stitchen@gmail.com